Why communication matters in estate planning – and how to get it right
The overlooked element that can make or break your legacy
You've carefully planned your estate, consulted solicitors and drafted a comprehensive will. Everything seems in order. Yet many well-planned estates still face challenges from family members who feel surprised, excluded or unfairly treated.
The missing piece? Often, it’s an absence of open communication with the people your decisions will affect most. Estate planning isn't just about drafting the right documents – it's about ensuring your family understands your decisions.
When silence speaks volumes
Picture this: A successful business owner leaves the family company to one child while giving the others cash equivalents. Without explanation, this decision can appear unfair or preferential. The reality might be that the chosen child had worked in the business for twenty years while the others pursued different careers. But by the time the will is read, it's too late for these crucial conversations.
Similarly, when someone remarries and wants to provide for their new spouse while protecting their children's inheritance, a carefully structured will can achieve both goals. However, if the children discover these arrangements for the first time after the funeral, this commonly leads to confusion and concern and can put strain on relationships.
The risks of keeping plans private
When family members feel excluded from decision-making, they may question whether you had the necessary capacity when making your will, or whether you were subject to undue influence. The law requires that anyone making a will understands they are making a will, knows the extent of their property and considers the moral claims of potential beneficiaries.
Close relatives may also feel that a valid will doesn't adequately provide for their needs and bring claims for financial provision against the estate.
These legal challenges can be both costly and emotionally damaging, creating lasting divisions within families that were previously close.
Breaking the silence: four details that matter
Open communication doesn't mean revealing every detail of your financial affairs and in some cases, decisions do need to be kept private. When open communication is the right option, focus on four key areas:
- Your reasoning. Explain why you've made specific decisions, particularly if they might surprise people. Understanding your logic helps family members accept outcomes they might otherwise question.
- Your assets. Give your executors a clear picture of what they'll be managing. Hidden accounts or forgotten investments create unnecessary complications and suspicion.
- Your executors and trustees. Explain why you've chosen particular people for these crucial roles. This helps avoid hurt feelings and ensures your executors understand their responsibilities.
- Your expectations. If you hope the family business will continue or want certain heirlooms to stay within the family, say so. Unexpressed wishes often go unfulfilled.
When professional guidance helps
Some families can navigate these conversations naturally. Others benefit from professional support to address complex family dynamics or sensitive topics. As a solicitor who has seen families navigate both successful estate planning and contentious disputes, I help clients plan not just their estates, but how to communicate their decisions effectively.
My experience in inheritance disputes has shown me how misunderstandings can escalate unnecessarily. The encouraging news is that many potential conflicts can be prevented with thoughtful communication and the right approach.
Taking time to explain your decisions and reasoning can help preserve both your legacy and family relationships for generations to come.
Personal Law Partner Liam O'Neill can be contacted on 01943 885 786 or ku.oc.fcl@llienol.
Thank you to Trainee Solicitor Emily Guest for helping to draft this article.
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